Every team has jack*ss fans: As illustrated by this brilliant (but flawed) commercial

The first time I saw this ad was in a bar with no volume, but I was still able to figure out what was going on: Two supporters of rival teams each talk about how much better off they are as fans than the other, when in reality their lives are virtually identical.  I was kind of excited to watch it with volume, but there's just one little problem:

You can't understand a single thing they are saying.  The idea of it is genius though.  I always think it's funny when I hear people around here make comments like "Yankee fans are such a--holes."  But if you go to New York, they say the same thing about Red Sox fans.  Making broad generalizations about entire fan bases is just ridiculous.  Every team has smart fans.  Every team has polite and courteous fans.  Every team has drunk and obnoxious fans.  And every team has jack*ss fans.  It's just the way it is.  And it's not as if they don't overlap; I'm certain that at one time or another I have been all of those.

So kudos espn, but how about making some more of them in regular American English?  I'm thinking a pair of college kids at North Carolina and Duke, or a couple late twenties/early thirties guys from the Bronx and East Boston.  Or how about two old retired alums of Michigan and Ohio State living in suburbia?  There's a ton of great possibilities, hopefully the ad wizards at espn will take advantage.

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