So I'm going to this thing called "Boston Sports Blogapalooza"

It's later this afternoon at a bar near Faneuil Hall.  Here's a link to the website.  It's the first real life thing I have ever done relating to my website.  I really have no idea what to expect.  Basically it's a networking event for people that write sports blogs.  And if you know me, you know that networking is not one of my strong suits.  Pretty much I don't really like approaching, introducing myself, or really talking in anyway to people I don't know; ever.  So do I just go up to everybody there and say hello?  Hand them my cards?  Do I wear my lucidsportsfan.com T-shirt?

I feel kind of like the girl from Coyote Ugly.  She wants to be a songwriter, but she has lots of trouble getting discovered because she has stage fright and is unable to perform her own music in front of anybody.

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Guess who's been the Sox second best hitter so far?

David Ortiz is leading the Red Sox in just about every offensive category, he's clearly been their MVP so far this season (crazy how we all thought he was washed up 4 years ago).  But after him, it's pretty ridiculous who's got the next best numbers: Mike Aviles.  Fairly ironic considering that heading into spring training probably the #1 concern for Sox fans was the lack of an everyday shortstop (also take note of what my biggest concern was).

Aviles is 2nd on the team in RBI's (37), 2nd in total bases (105), tied for 2nd in runs scored (31), 3rd in hits (66), 1st in stolen bases (7), and even tied for 3rd in home runs (8).  The angry Sox fan might choose to look at this as another example of how so many players (and the team as a whole) have underachieved.  But not me.  I think it's rather encouraging.  Here's the thing, the offense has actually been surprisingly effective.  Boston is second in the Majors in total runs scored (319, trailing only Texas, 335).  Just wait till Jacoby, Crawford, and hopefully the real Pedroia, Youk, and Gonzalez return; imagine how good they'll be.

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I don't understand the Miller Lite "shotgun" can

I've had this post on the back burner for a little while, but it's time to use it now while it's still relevant.  To kick off the beginning of summer, for Memorial Day the folks at Budweiser released the American Flag Bottle (and also brought back a new version of last summer's flag cans).  The ad wizards at Miller decided to counter with something special of their own, the "Punch Top Can."

Guess what Miller Lite, you're not fooling anybody with your "smoother pour" propaganda.  These are "shotgun" cans, pure and simple.  You're marketing them to the kids (just like Pucker children's vodka) who'll be partying all summer while school's not in session, and hoping they'll spend the extra couple bucks and buy 30 racks of your shotgun cans instead of Natty or Busch.

But here's what I don't understand: If you need a knife or key to open the alleged "Punch Top," what's the point?  That's the same tool you'd use anyway to make the second hole in a normal beer can when you shotgun it.

And while I'm on the subject of "shotgunning," for anybody who's not familiar, here's a description of it, and how to use a straw to chug a bottled beer in the same manner.


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Fixing "the half court shot contest"

Now that the Celtics season is over, not only do I have less to write about, but I also no longer have games to go to regularly.  So throughout the summer I will occasionally post non-time sensitive stuff relating to being a season ticket holder.  Today: "The Half Court Shot Contest."

This has been going on in arenas all over the country for a long time.  The Celtics frequently have one at half time that is sponsored by Cumberland Farms.  In this version you get to shoot a 3-pointer to win $500 dollars, and if you make that you get to shoot from mid court for $25,000.  I'm a big fan of the contest, but one thing in particular drives me crazy:  It's a totally random drawing, and often it features people that physically can't even throw the ball the distance from the three-point line to the rim.  What is the point of having a contest where you trot out somebody's great grandmother, who then proceeds to toss the basketball as if it's a watermelon and miss the hoop by 9 feet?  As someone who actually could succeed (put me on that leprechaun logo at the Garden right now and give me ten shots from half court, I guarantee I make one.  Probably I'll make two), it's infuriating to watch the opportunity often given to people that have literally a 0% chance of winning.  It's like selling fake lottery tickets.

So here's my proposal: have the random drawings, but pick ten times as many winners.  Then hold "tryouts."  The people who know they can't do it won't even show up.  Everybody who hits the rim during the tryouts gets entered into another drawing to pick the actual half time participants.  Then it's a real contest.

4 Things I like about the OKC Thunder

I'm pulling for Oklahoma City in the NBA Finals for the simple reason that I want Lebron James to never ever win a championship as long as he is in the league.  I was greatly amused by his epic choke a year ago against Dallas (and if you're saying to yourself, "come on, he wasn't that bad," trust me, he was.  Take a look at these numbers).  Because of this I would root for whichever team Miami was playing, regardless of who they are.  But, there are also a number of reasons why I legitimately like the Thunder:

1.  Kendrick Perkins.  He's still a Celtic in my heart, and he never wanted to leave Boston.

2.  Kevin Durant is a Texas Longhorn.  I used to live in Austin, Texas for a while, and because of that I am a fan of UT.  I've liked Durant from the time he first suited up there (they also have another Longhorn on the team, and he was there at the same time I was.  He never plays, but he's got a cool name: Royal Ivey).

3.  James Harden is an Arizona State Sun Devil.  I've been a Sun Devils fan for a while; I like their town, I like their logo, I like that their football stadium is build into the side of a mountain.  And I've liked Harden ever since he played there.

4.  I went to high school with the team's General Manager, Sam Presti.  We played JV basketball together, and graduated in the same class from Concord-Carlisle in 1995.  And now he's the GM of an NBA team.

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I don't like commercials for two things at once that are totally unrelated

I'm not sure exactly how long this has been going on.  I dug this one up that combined the 1998 movie Godzilla with Taco Bell:

It's definitely becoming more of a trend lately, and it really irritates me.  I found this video from last year's NBA playoffs, a TNT basketball ad that also promoted X-Men: First Class.

A couple weeks ago espn kept running a Stephen A. Smith SportsCenter commercial that was also for the movie Prometheus.  Alas, I was unable to find a clip of that one.  Prometheus is really outdoing itself though; there's also this combo Coors Light ad:

I don't understand this at all.  These two things have absolutely nothing to do with each other.  It's not like you're going to go see the movie and buy a Coors Light while you're there.  The NFL and Nike I get.  Coca-Cola and McDonalds, fine.  But watered down beer and a sci-fi movie?  No good.

"Coming this July on Fox: The Major League Baseball All-Star Game.  Watch the best players in the world get down and dirty, then go out and buy some Tide liquid detergent."

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Awesome Old Song of the Week: "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel

When I was in 7th grade my Social Studies teacher Mr. Miller did an entire two day lesson plan based solely on this song.  They were two of my favorite history classes ever.  If Billy Joel felt like making a quick buck, he should make a knew version of We Didn't Start the Fire twenty-some years later.  The world's changed a lot since 1989.  Or even better yet, he should let somebody else recycle it in true pop music fashion.  That would also lead to many many youtube parodies for us to enjoy/hate.

Normally I always use the song's actual music video, but when I found this I decided it was way cooler.

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