If you're drinking vodka-soda cause it's "low in calories," maybe don't order mac n' cheese with it

I've decided to make it my mission to educate the world on the fact that you can't drink alcohol without consuming calories.

Light beer has fewer calories than regular beer because it has less alcohol in it.

If you drink liquor, whatever you choose to combine it with is generally a fairly insignificant addition in the long run.  In a bar the standard ratio of alcohol to mixer is 50/50 (plus a lot of ice, zero calories).  The 1.5 oz of vodka in you're screwdriver has roughly 100 calories, while the 1.5 oz of OJ you get with it is only about 20 more.

Last night a women came into my bar and said "I'll have a vodka-soda, it has the least calories, right?"  I started to explain how it didn't really matter, but she cut me off and said "Well it has less than a beer, right?"

While I wanted to correct her on misusing the word "less" and also tell her that it depended on which beer she ordered, the experienced bartender in me knows that's a terrible idea.  But a few minutes later I struggled from laughing out loud when she put in her food order (Sobieski is a brand of vodka):

To be fair, she was ordering food for two people, but even the cauliflower is covered with cheese...


Follow @LucidSportsFan