I really want to live in the treehouse from this Viagra commercial (remember the Swiss Family Robinson?)

Seriously, how cool is this house?  Notice the hammock hanging underneath--awesome.



It reminds me of when I was a kid and I wanted more than anything to live in the Swiss Family Robinson's treehouse.




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This letter from my landlord makes no sense

The landlord slipped this letter under our front door yesterday:

That's pretty weird, right?  Who knew pipes could freeze when the temperature drops below 62 degrees?  The thing that really confuses me is that it's a big building with a lot of apartments--even when we turn the heat off completely the temperature in our place rarely drops below 65.

Oh yeah, and we don't pay for heat, he does.  This makes no sense to me at all...


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NCAA announces it will stop trying to lie to us about the "first round" of the tournament

Actually the first round.

Ever since the men's college basketball tournament expanded to 68 teams in 2011, the NCAA has attempted (unsuccessfully) to perpetrate a fraud on the hoops-watching American public.

For the past five years, the NCAA repeatedly told us that the first round (when 64 teams play on Thursday and Friday) was actually the second round, and that the four play-in games on Tuesday and Wednesday were actually the first round.  Nobody believed it and nobody actually called them that, but the NCAA insisted that was the case and did its best to make things as confusing as possible.

Today the NCAA admitted that was stupid by officially renaming the first round "the first round" and calling the play-in games the "First Four."

The next thing that needs to be fixed about the tournament?  Stop playing every game on the same boring floor.


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More stupid stuff people say to bartenders

This bartender rant is actually two different stories that overlap:

Part 1 - Three guys walked up to my bar last night and ordered three different draft beers--a Pacifico, an IPA and a Yuengling.  Those beers are three different colors, but I don't expect people to know that (it's relevant later).  They asked for them in that order, I poured them in that order, and then I set them down in that order, each beer directly in front of the guy that ordered it.  At that point, the first guy said "Which one is which?" as if I wouldn't remember and might've put them in the wrong place.  With a confused look on my face I pointed to each beer and said "That's the Pacifico, that's the IPA and that's the Yuengling."

Part 2 - About 30 seconds later, another guy came to the bar (he wasn't with the other three).  I asked him what he'd like, and he said "I'll have what they're having" while pointing in the direction of the other three guys.  As I said before, the beers were three different colors.  I said "Who?" hoping to give him a chance to specify, but he replied "Them" and gestured again angrily as if I was supposed to know.  At that point I probably should've poured him one of each of the three beers he was asking for, but I just gave him what the closest guy was drinking.


Something else I've experienced a lot lately is the "I can't find my waitress" scenario.  Well, did you look?  Because 99 percent of the time I can see said waitress from where I am standing.


Much more:

• Most drinks these days aren't real drinks
• I'd really like to know the thought process of this calculated 10-percent tipper
• Do you ever look at pictures of food on your phone in a restaurant before ordering?
• Why do people think it's OK to ask bartenders to put more booze in their drinks?
• Advice for bar patrons: Don't be afraid to look at the menu before ordering
• If you're drinking vodka-soda cause it's "low in calories," maybe don't order mac n' cheese with it
• PSA: "Low calorie" alcohol does not exist (sorry Keel vodka)
• If you're meeting a blind date in a bar, probably don't order lemonade
• Guys do some weird stuff to try to impress girls in bars
• How come men use cash and women don't? (This really makes no sense to me)
• Some things you should know before getting food from a restaurant "to go"
• Snifters: 101
• "Can I get $7 of Patron?"
• Memo to young women in bars
• Memo to young women in bars - Part II
• Inappropriate bar behavior?
• People will drink whatever I tell them to
• Public Service Announcement about "skinny girl" drinks
• Advice for when you're buying a round of drinks in a crowded bar

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25 years ago today, Dee Brown stole my heart

February 9, 1991 was a Saturday.  I remember my parents went out to dinner that night.  We didn't have cable TV, so I wasn't able to watch the NBA's slam dunk contest.  When my parent's got home, my dad told me that he'd seen part of it in the restaurant.  I asked him how Dee Brown did, and he said "He won."



I thought he was joking.  Brown was a little known C's rookie who I assumed had no chance.  It wasn't until the next day that I finally got to see the highlights.




RELATED: Reebok pumps still exist?


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Did anybody else get aggravated by this on Facebook?

When I logged onto Facebook Sunday, this is what I saw:

It irritated me for two basic reasons:

1.  Why would any of my friends possibly care if I am watching the Super Bowl?  What's next Facebook?  Are you going to start pulling this sort of crap all the time?  "It's morning!  Let your friends know if you're eating breakfast."

2.  I think Facebook has actually forgotten that in the status box it says "What's on your mind?"  Why bother asking the question if it's just going to tell you what's on your mind for you?  I'm sick of Facebook always trying to get me to do things.  No, I don't want to say "Happy Birthday!" to the random guy I worked with eight years ago.  Back off!


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Awesome Old Super Bowl Halftime Show of the Week: Michael Jackson in 1993

I'd forgotten how good a song Black or White is.  Maybe even my second-favorite all time by Michael Jackson after Man in the Mirror.  Here's the show at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California, on January 31, 1993 (I recommend skipping ahead for the 90 seconds he stands motionless on stage).



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