Contributions to ESPN.com's Celtics Summer Forecast, Week 2

ESPN.com's Chris Forsberg put together a Celtics Summer Forecast in which he asked local writers/bloggers to make a series of predictions regarding the 2016-17 team.  Here are my contributions for Week 2 (with links to the full articles):


How many All-Stars will the Celtics have next year, and who?

Two, Al Horford and Isaiah Thomas:

In each of the past two seasons, the No. 2 team in the East had a pair of All-Stars. DeMar DeRozan and Lowry for Toronto last season, and LeBron James and Kyrie Irving for the Cavaliers in 2014-15. Horford and Thomas should continue that trend for the Celtics in 2016-17. Along with three Heat squads featuring LeBron, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh, and the 2012-13 Knicks with Carmelo Anthony and Tyson Chandler, every second-place finisher in the East has had at least two All-Stars dating to 2009-10 (when Dwight Howard was the Magic's only representative).

Which star player should the Celtics pursue next?

Paul Millsap:

We already know Millsap and Horford are a good combination. Millsap can be a free agent next summer (he has a 2017-18 player option for $21.5 million), but he might also be available at the deadline. I'm betting on the Hawks continuing to regress with Dwight Howard supplanting Horford and Jeff Teague now in Indiana. If Atlanta stumbles toward mediocrity, why not move the 31-year-old Millsap while he still has value?

Who will be the biggest overachiever on the 2016-17 squad?

Gerald Green:

Green will enter training camp battling for a roster spot, but he's the kind of reclamation project who can excel under [Brad] Stevens -- just ask [Jordan] Crawford and [Evan] Turner. My guess is Stevens' natural tendency to fight tooth and nail for every victory might lead him to give consistent minutes to the veteran Green rather than young guys like [Terry] Rozier or [Jaylen] Brown.

And underachiever?

Jordan Mickey:

How can a 22-year-old second-round draft pick be labeled an underachiever in his sophomore season? I think there's a large contingent of Celtics fans who legitimately expect Mickey to make an impact next season, and I just don't see how it can happen. He'll likely be in the 13-15 range on the team depth chart and will probably see more minutes in Maine than he does in Boston.

What are you most excited about with this team?

Endless lineup possibilities:

With the potential to go 12 or 13 men deep if he wants to, Stevens will have the opportunity to trot out a limitless array of lineups and just get nuts. For example, a likely second five of Rozier, [Marcus] Smart, Brown, Jonas Jerebko and [Kelly] Olynyk could play with both big men on the perimeter and a shooting guard and small forward posting up under the basket. Or how about an all-defense small-ball unit of Rozier, Avery Bradley, Smart, Brown, and Jae Crowder? I can't wait to see how Stevens takes advantage of all the options at his disposal.

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Could you eat this avocado-bun burger?

Taste-wise, I think this thing would be awesome:

People are using avocados as "burger buns": https://t.co/fF7sYOfY2Y pic.twitter.com/68BwaVVbRM

— Kari Van Horn (@KariVanHorn) August 8, 2016

However, you might as well just put the burger on the plate with an avocado next to it because there is no possible way to pick that up and take a bite.  In terms of stability, you'd have much better odds of pulling it off with the onion slice on top and the burger patty on the bottom.  Avocado would still come squirting out, but at least you'd have a fighting chance.  As is, it'd be like trying to eat an ice cream cone without a cone.


RELATED: Could you eat this cucumber sandwich?


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Even if Ray Allen comes back, he can't stop Stephen Curry from breaking his all-time 3-point record

Rumors of a Ray Allen return have never ceased since he played his last NBA game for the Miami Heat in 2014.  Most recently, Allen said he spoke about a potential comeback with two of his old ballclubs, the Celtics and Bucks.  According to Gary Washburn of the Boston Globe, the 41-year-old Allen is interested in adding to his all-time three-point record, which currently stands at 2,973.

I've got news for you Ray--unless you're planning to play into your fifties, Steph Curry is going to smash your record (that doesn't mean I don't think it'd be cool to see Allen on the C's again though).

A year ago, Curry was coming off a league-record 286 three-pointers in 2014-15.  I wrote an article for Hoops Habit called When Will Stephen Curry Become NBA All-Time Three-Point Leader? in which I conservatively estimated he might make 250 threes per season for the next several years.  At that pace, passing Allen was an inevitability.  But, then Steph when out and drained four hundred of them (402 to be exact) in 2015-16.  Last summer Curry was in 50th place on the all-time list with 1,191, now he's 19th at 1,593.

Curry is only 28 years old.  If he averages 300 per season for the next five years he'll pass Allen by his 33rd birthday (or 500 for the next thee years???).  Even if Ray adds another hundred or two to his total, he'd have to hope Curry is washed up at 34 in order to keep the record, and somehow I don't see that happening to the greatest shooter ever.



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Ray Lewis thinks God wants Michael Phelps to win as many golds as Lewis' high school football number

As far as infuriating tweets go, this one is pretty high on the list:

21 gold metals, when U reach 22 you will be at my high school jersey number. Don't tell me God isn't Intentional, let's go Lil bro. USA!!!

— Ray Lewis (@raylewis) August 10, 2016

Ignoring the general absurdity of what Lewis seems to believe God's priorities might be, what really irks me about this tweet is that Lewis is self-righteous enough to think anyone would be interested in a correlation between his high school jersey number and Michael Phelps' Olympic gold medals (or metals, haha).  Not to mention, how about the mind-blowing level of egotism involved for him to imply it could actually be a goal Phelps (who's from Baltimore and is, sadly, a Lewis fan) might care about achieving?

To put it lightly, Ray Lewis is not a person I think very highly of (if the picture is any indication).  Click on the many links in this post if you'd like to read about why.


UPDATE: Lewis deleted the tweet, but the embedded text lives on...

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How long before somebody invents carrot-celery?

I saw this truck yesterday waiting in line to get on the Martha's Vineyard ferry.  I know those things pictured on the back are carrots with the leaves cut off at a certain length, but what do they really look like?

How about some sort of hybrid half-carrot/half-celery?  Imagine how great that would be?  That's probably an even better idea than strawberries with mint flavored leaves.

I googled Gordon Food Service, and even though there's no mention of them being on the cutting edge of genetic engineering in terms of splicing vegetables together, I'm sure they're just keeping that side of the business quiet pending FDA approval.


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Awesome Old Song of the Week: "Leave the Biker" by Fountains of Wayne

Fountains of Wayne is best known for their 2003 hit, Stacy's Mom.  However, they did some great (and fairly popular) stuff much earlier than that.  Their 1996 self-titled album (pictured) featured Sink to the Bottom, which put them on the map, and also included my favorite of their songs, Leave the Biker.

The live clip below begins with Sink and ends with Biker at the 7:43 mark (in between is another single from their debut, Radiation Vibe).  Random Fountains of Wayne fact: The same year they released their first album, their bassist, Adam Schlesinger, also wrote That Thing You Do for the Tom Hanks movie of the same name.




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Recycle Sunday (No. 18)

I'm way past due for a Recycle Sunday post, this is the first of 2016:

A year ago when Tom Brady's four-game suspension was overturned, I suggested it might actually decrease the Patriots' Super Bowl chances.  They fell just short, so maybe now that it's back...

How lazy is it that both villains in The Karate Kid have the same name?

We don't have to call a "Grand Slam" something else because of Serena Williams

The worst haircut in human history

Report: The Patriots kicked your dog, may soon spit on your baby too

Gronk was the best athlete in "Caveman Games," how perfect is that?

Babe Ruth. Mickey Mantle. Reggie Jackson. David Ortiz.

Why I don't like the MLB Wild Card game (imagine an NFL playoff lasting only 6 minutes?)

One of the most amazing/telling Patriots stats I've ever seen

I still don't understand how LeBron James wasn't fined for ripping apart his jersey on national TV.

Could you eat this cucumber sandwich?

The NBA has officially made 20-second timeouts 60 second long.  Huh?

When a screenshot of a SportsCenter graphic is worth 1,000 words (how you destroy a perfect season)



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